come the fuck on

[hemomancer]

It's a bright New England winter day. Xan and Leo have elected to take the tunnels from Poe dorm to the Powers Theory classroom, because regardless of their Exemplar ratings, they're still from California and it's eight degrees out. And the tunnels have central heating. Glorious, glorious central heating.

In the middle of an extended diatribe against artificial turf, Xan opens the door to Schuester Hall, which is... not the door to Schuester Hall.

Xan peers at it. "Are we being pranked or something? Has someone not been informed that I piss napalm?"

"You bleed napalm," notes Leo. "If you were pissing it we'd have a medical issue on our hands. Somebody could've thrown up an illusion, but I don't really see the point of replacing Schuester with... a bar? With some chick inside? Like, what, we're going to whip out our fake IDs and get in trouble? But Mom always says that if you can't see the point of a trap then whoever set it is smarter than you are. Let's go down the hall and take the south door."

"Jesus Christ," Xan mutters, hauling Leo in by the arm. "Let's avoid the cool-as-shit magic bar, he says. You're such a fucking girl."

Leo makes a noise of protest. "I'm working on that! And I object to your manhandling!"

"Shut up."

"Okay."

They behold the bar. It's a very nice bar. It has a window to some exploding stars. "Huh. I'm... pretty sure that's magic of some kind," notes Leo.

"So am I, dipshit, we're both wizards."

"Just making conversation."

Comments

[stonedtimewitch]

"Is it baggage if I tried to stab holes into all of it? Besides don't tell me you have no problems in your past."

[hemomancer]

"Stabbing your baggage does not make it less baggageful, no. And I've had trouble, but your shit is clearly a level beyond. Or it all happened yesterday, one or the other."

[stonedtimewitch]

"It was recent, if my time travel powers ever get really strong then I will introduce you to me from two years ago and then we can kick her face in together."

[callmeleo]

"A worthy goal."

[stonedtimewitch]

"First I need to go further then a two minute hop and maybe get a longer music box. Also I need to have a magic wand. Maybe I'll figure out how to enchant my hair sticks."

[hemomancer]

"If you join our team, I can get Sally to make you some new needles. Maybe out of adamantium. That'll go straight through bone, you know. And she could inlay some mithril to help you focus your magic through them. That's what she did with our armor, it makes our magic work way better."

[callmeleo]

...Leo looks vaguely suspicious!

[stonedtimewitch]

"So tell me one sexy yandere to another," Damara says before blowing smoke into Xan's face. "Are you always this generous to new girls?"

[hemomancer]

"Only the ones who have potential," he clarifies. (He doesn't bother coughing, just takes the smoke in and exhales it back. Exemplar lungs can take worse abuse than that.) "And you're... promising. I like the idea of you on my side."

He takes in another puff. "And we're one of the clubs that gets to commit sanctioned violence. Which is fun."

[stonedtimewitch]

"Okay sanctioned violence is fun," Damara says, looking slightly disappointed that Xan was unphased by the smoke. "Okay I will be on your team for as long as I decide its worth it." She takes another puff, this time blowing at Leo. She is going to get someone to couch dammit.

[callmeleo]

Leo coughs obligingly. "Dammit!"

He concentrates for a moment and mutters a few words in Latin. His mouth is now covered with a mesh of woven shadows. He pushes his pipe through with no resistance and takes a puff, looking at Damara challengingly.

[hemomancer]

Xan considers the shadowy mask and sends a puff of red smoke curling at it. The shadows curl away at its touch.

[callmeleo]

Leo coughs some more. "Goddammit, Xan, I know where you sleep!"

[stonedtimewitch]

"Is that not where you also sleep?"

[callmeleo]

"Irrelevant!"

[hemomancer]

"He's threatening to put fire ants in my bed again," Xan clarifies. "Because it worked so well the first time."

[stonedtimewitch]

Damara laughs, this is better then her animes. "There is lots of money you two aren't making by not filming a porno reality show out of your dorm."

[hemomancer]

"I've tried to convince him, but he never lets me film it."

[callmeleo]

"You know that thing where we're legally minors? That didn't stop being a thing, or anything."

[hemomancer]

"Pussy."

[stonedtimewitch]

"Those rules are bullshit, just be an anime 19 year old. All you have to do is have big boobs, dress like a middle schooler, and actually be like 12."

[hemomancer]

"There's an idea. I could commission porn of us! With life modeling, maybe? Damara, can you draw hentai?"

[callmeleo]

"I veto any idea that involves us playing out your weird exhibitionist fantasies. Pervert."

[stonedtimewitch]

"I can actually draw okay hentai, I might have to be creative with your hands. Just send me reference photos and I will make it work. Lots and lots of photos."

[callmeleo]

"Veto. Veto. As in not a fucking chance. Draw them from your twisted fantasies, devil-woman."