come the fuck on

[hemomancer]

It's a bright New England winter day. Xan and Leo have elected to take the tunnels from Poe dorm to the Powers Theory classroom, because regardless of their Exemplar ratings, they're still from California and it's eight degrees out. And the tunnels have central heating. Glorious, glorious central heating.

In the middle of an extended diatribe against artificial turf, Xan opens the door to Schuester Hall, which is... not the door to Schuester Hall.

Xan peers at it. "Are we being pranked or something? Has someone not been informed that I piss napalm?"

"You bleed napalm," notes Leo. "If you were pissing it we'd have a medical issue on our hands. Somebody could've thrown up an illusion, but I don't really see the point of replacing Schuester with... a bar? With some chick inside? Like, what, we're going to whip out our fake IDs and get in trouble? But Mom always says that if you can't see the point of a trap then whoever set it is smarter than you are. Let's go down the hall and take the south door."

"Jesus Christ," Xan mutters, hauling Leo in by the arm. "Let's avoid the cool-as-shit magic bar, he says. You're such a fucking girl."

Leo makes a noise of protest. "I'm working on that! And I object to your manhandling!"

"Shut up."

"Okay."

They behold the bar. It's a very nice bar. It has a window to some exploding stars. "Huh. I'm... pretty sure that's magic of some kind," notes Leo.

"So am I, dipshit, we're both wizards."

"Just making conversation."

Comments

[stonedtimewitch]

"If you say so, no one gets to run my life but me," she says, clearly amused at the boyfriends. "Maybe I will make quick exceptions for those that supply me."

[hemomancer]

"I don't order anybody else around this blatantly, don't worry. If you end up doing my bidding it'll look like a total coincidence."

[stonedtimewitch]

"A coincidence that gets me high, I hope. You on the other hand will do my bidding without getting any of my weed because I don't share."

[callmeleo]

"Nobody's bidding is being done, we're going out for a smoke. Power plays come later. Wait until you're a political entity on campus, then he'll start plotting at you. This is just recreation."

[stonedtimewitch]

"I can see why he is so easy for you to control. I already almost got through school once, I learned that it is always plotting." She then copies Xan's earlier move of condescendingly patting him on the head.

[hemomancer]

Xan chuckles. (Leo scowls and bats her hand away.) "Yeah, yeah, everything's a power play. But we're in the preliminary stages of all that. Still feeling you out for when you're established, et cetera. Speaking of which, you should probably get a codename. Any ideas?"

[stonedtimewitch]

Damara shrugs, "I don't know... that really have to be part of being in this school." She thinks about it for a bit and then remembers some of the teasing she used to have to deal with. "How about witch, I mean these powers are magic right? Thats good, I will be the Time Witch."

[hemomancer]

[callmeleo]

"Well, there's been worse codenames."

[hemomancer]

"I assume you're referring to Power Pork? Because that's the only name worse than 'Time Witch' that I can think of."

[callmeleo]

"Yeah, I'm talking about Power Pork. Damara, I hate to break it to you, but that is the shittiest codename."

[stonedtimewitch]

"Give me a better one or deal with that one."

[callmeleo]

Leo ticks down his fingers. "Clockstopper. Chronomancer. Hourglass. Momentum. Timer. Shall I go on?"

[stonedtimewitch]

"Do you have one that doesn't make me sound like a sentai villain or a kitchen appliance? You get bonus points if I can also theme it with a cute costume."

[hemomancer]

"Tempus Fugit? You could wear tacky angel wings. Sky could accuse you of cultural appropriation."

[callmeleo]

"Sentai villain names make the best codenames, honestly. He's Hemomancer, I'm Scion, we know a guy called Stormhammer... You learn to deal with it."

[stonedtimewitch]

"Just call me Damara until I do something cool, I'll get a codename that way... Also hemomancer, really? This is my second language and I see all puns"

[hemomancer]

"Bite me."

[callmeleo]

"I keep saying, you should just make it official. Rename yourself Homomancer and have done."

[hemomancer]

"I swear to God, I will castrate you with your own teeth."

[callmeleo]

"I said nothing."

[stonedtimewitch]

"I'm pretty sure he still wants you to bite him." She fails to resist laughing at this situation. "Atleast my choice would have also given me the nickname time bitch."

[hemomancer]

"That it would."

They've reached the roof. "Alright, suit up. I'll carry Damara, since I can actually fly with passengers."

Xan and Leo twiddle their fingers at length while muttering. Once this is complete, there's a sequence of special effects reminiscent of a magical girl transformation, and they're abruptly dressed in black full plate. Leo's is inscribed with runes in some odd golden metal, whereas Xan's is in red. Their gauntlets have additional inscriptions in silver, and their helmets are exceedingly fancy and made primarily out of their accent materials.

It's all a bit flamboyant, but the end result is fairly menacing. Xan flips up his visor and nods. "Shall we?"

[stonedtimewitch]

"When do I get to be a magical girl?" Damara asks, holding on to Xan. "I want to be able to flash everyone before I fight." Despite her jokes her smile is more of a happy child then of a cruel bitch. She starts to make plans to validate all her years of cosplaying.

[hemomancer]

"You'd have to learn magic first- our magic, not your magic. Which is friggin' hard. Unless you're a Wiz-class mutant, which you are almost certainly not. If you join our team I can do it for you if you like."

As he speaks, wings of crystallized blood burst out of his back along convenient prongs in his armor. Shadowy bat-wings do the same for Leo. They leap off the roof and soar towards a nearby tree, which turns out to be concealing an invisible treehouse. "Welcome to the Haven. Here, people who can fly get stoned. You are now among that august body."