come the fuck on

[hemomancer]

It's a bright New England winter day. Xan and Leo have elected to take the tunnels from Poe dorm to the Powers Theory classroom, because regardless of their Exemplar ratings, they're still from California and it's eight degrees out. And the tunnels have central heating. Glorious, glorious central heating.

In the middle of an extended diatribe against artificial turf, Xan opens the door to Schuester Hall, which is... not the door to Schuester Hall.

Xan peers at it. "Are we being pranked or something? Has someone not been informed that I piss napalm?"

"You bleed napalm," notes Leo. "If you were pissing it we'd have a medical issue on our hands. Somebody could've thrown up an illusion, but I don't really see the point of replacing Schuester with... a bar? With some chick inside? Like, what, we're going to whip out our fake IDs and get in trouble? But Mom always says that if you can't see the point of a trap then whoever set it is smarter than you are. Let's go down the hall and take the south door."

"Jesus Christ," Xan mutters, hauling Leo in by the arm. "Let's avoid the cool-as-shit magic bar, he says. You're such a fucking girl."

Leo makes a noise of protest. "I'm working on that! And I object to your manhandling!"

"Shut up."

"Okay."

They behold the bar. It's a very nice bar. It has a window to some exploding stars. "Huh. I'm... pretty sure that's magic of some kind," notes Leo.

"So am I, dipshit, we're both wizards."

"Just making conversation."

Comments

[stonedtimewitch]

"I am going to try the shit out of those mad science drugs and no one will stop me." She smiles again, showing her gratefulness to Johanna in the most tactful way she is willing to do so, "Thank you for telling me all this old lady. As long as no assholes with swords are hunting me down I think I will stay. Do I have to worry too much about things in this school besides highschool bitches and mutant crocodiles?"

[andomega]

"We maintain a culture of bullying to inoculate our students against the harsh realities of life. You may want to get a protector of some kind; many of the bullies are more powerful than you are. Xan may serve, he's scared them off by setting them on fire enough times. Also, we occasionally have people trying to bring about some kind of apocalypse, but usually they're thwarted. Other than that I can't think of anything."

[stonedtimewitch]

"I'll get myself enough minions, don't worry. Well maybe worry, I apologize for nothing that happens to anyone because of me. Otherwise give me a warm bed and lots of sweets and I am happy."

[andomega]

"You'll fit right in."

[fortheliving]

Eventually Poe is reached.

A thirtysomething-year-old man stands outside the entry to Poe! He is unreasonably tall. "Johanna. This the new student?"

[andomega]

"Yep. Show her around, if you would. She's a temporal Warper. I'd say put her in a single for the moment, freshman dorms."

She strides off to her headmistressly business.

[fortheliving]

He shifts awkwardly.

"Hi. I'm Mr. Dresden, I'm housefather for Poe Cottage. I'm the one you should come to if you're having issues with something, and... yeah. Room?"

[stonedtimewitch]

"[Of course, lead the way. A single sounds perfect unless you wish to occupy a double with me. I have nothing on me except these clothes and the valuable things they cover up]"

[fortheliving]

"Do you speak English? Because I don't speak- whatever language that was."

[stonedtimewitch]

"[The important thing is that I speak whatever language causes your trousers to tent up.]" she says, leaning closer to him for the fun of it. She debates lighting a blunt so that she has something to blow into this man's face but there is a chance he would be less cool about such things then the headmistress. "Lead me to room now"

[fortheliving]

"Uh. Okay."

Harry leads her up the stairs uncomfortably. "Your room is 216, it's the only single available. It's the same floor as Xan and Leo, who you know already. Women's showers are over here, apparently they're much nicer than the men's. If you want the bed unlofted please ask me instead of just getting the nearest Exemplar to take it apart, that's hell on the insurance. I'll get you a standard-issue Whateley laptop too, for classwork and all that. Any questions?"

[stonedtimewitch]

"Can I have extra clothes," Damara asks, laying down on the bed. "I've been stuck with this uniform for days." She takes off her red shirt, both to fluster Mr. Dresden for her own amusement and to see if the stripping would make him suddenly run out of the room.

[fortheliving]

"You can buy more clothes at the campus store? I'd rather you didn't take your clothes off in front of me?"

[stonedtimewitch]

Damara laughs, "You need better tastes but okay. I'll shower and then go. Anytime you change your mind on me stripping just ask." She punctuates her statement with a wink.

[fortheliving]

Harry makes an extremely uncomfortable noise. The lightbulb above their heads flickers. "I'm... going back to my office. Um. There's campus maps in the sitting room. Your name's hooked up to the scholarship fund, so you can just tell the C-store folks who you are and they can get you- clothes. Bye."

He vanishes in a puff of red flame, conceding victory to his resident.

[stonedtimewitch]

Damara lets out a little cheer at her victory and then falls asleep shirtless on the bed. She eventually wakes up in the middle of the night and goes for that shower, intending to be clean before she checks in the C-store has anything worth wearing.

[andaisq]

The showers contain one (1) other person, a sexless angelic being with marble skin and gold-flecked wings. They nod politely to Damara. "Are you the new resident? I'm Sky. That's- that's my name, not my codename, my codename's Mercy. I'm Sky. Hello."

[stonedtimewitch]

Damara walks around the marble angel, confused. How is she supposed to sexually harass Sky to assert dominance if they have no sex to harass? "Hello," she says nervously, "I'm Damara, no codename yet... can you fly with those wings when they are full of water?"

(Note: Sky uses "they" and "it" pronouns interchangeably)

[andaisq]

"Not very well. I've got a little magic widget from a friend of mine that dries them out really quickly, otherwise I'd have to fluff the feathers out and get in there with a hairdryer every time I showered. Like long hair, but even worse." It shudders. (There is no hair anywhere on Sky's body. It does not seem bothered by this.)

[stonedtimewitch]

Damara is going to figure out some way to sexually harass this being, if a sufficiently blunt statement would not do it then perhaps touching will. She steps closer to the being and runs a hand through its wings, feeling the feathers on her fingertips. "I like these" she says, playing with individual feathers using her fingers, "These feel so very strong."

[andaisq]

Sky twitches. "Please don't touch me without my permission," it grits out. "They are very strong, yes."

[stonedtimewitch]

She smiles and backs off, holding her hands up. "Alright, whatever you say big... birdy? I don't know, what right word for you?"

[andaisq]

Sky smiles brittly. "Thank you. I don't have a gender, I'm 'they' or 'it'. 'Birdy' would be fine, if you have to use anything."

Sky has finished drying off. It picks up its possessions and runs down the hallway at obviously superhuman speed. Damara appears to be making quite the impression in Poe.

[stonedtimewitch]

"Bye bye birdy," Damara says, waving at Sky as she leaves. She laughs and strips out of her clothes, throwing them into a corner and then turning on the shower hot enough to turn her skin red and fill the room with steam. Her body shows the end result of multiple very close calls with wardens with large cuts from sword slashes and stabs across her torso.

[andaisq]

(The narrative voice would like to note, somewhat reproachfully, that Sky could've fixed those.)

The shower is quite literally miraculous. It responds to intention, its temperature and pressure are always perfect, and it doesn't seem to feel the need to hare too closely to the laws of physics. It's very soothing. Unless Damara doesn't want to be soothed, in which case it is not soothing at all. It's a very accommodating shower.